


Rest Before Tomorrow

by Megane



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: And The Wisdom of Some Others, Apologies, Arguing, Cloud Getting a Dose of Wallace Wisdom, Denial of Feelings, First Kiss, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Learning to trust, Life Truths and Tenderness, Light game spoilers, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Other Characters Are Mentioned, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megane/pseuds/Megane
Summary: Cloud had been in a bad mood all day. No, that had been putting it lightly. His demeanour had been awful, sour, absolutely foul. When they left Midgar, he had been feeling determined, focused, and maybe a little confident because he wasn’t doing this alone. The hours gave into days as they traveled; the wonderment his companions had of fully seeing and enjoying the world at large was almost contagious. Almost.Today was just not a day for such infectious goodness.
Relationships: Cloud Strife/Barret Wallace
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Rest Before Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neon/gifts).



> Absolutely no beta'ing this. The time will come for that later. You all know my roll by now. This one goes out to [neon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neon), and her big gotdang Barret loving heart. Her enjoyment of him really does the soul good. I hope you enjoy this one.
> 
> Let's go.

Cloud had been in a bad mood all day. No, that had been putting it lightly. His demeanour had been awful, sour, absolutely _foul_. When they left Midgar, he had been feeling determined, focused, and maybe a little confident because he wasn’t doing this alone. The hours gave into days as they traveled; the wonderment his companions had of fully seeing and enjoying the world at large was almost contagious. Almost.

Today was just not a day for such infectious goodness. His mind had been going around in circles since they first departed at dawn. The more he thought about their time in Shinra and his passing hallucinations — _conversations?_ — with Sephiroth, the worst he felt. Out of everyone, the two he could plausibly talk about all this with were Red and Aerith. He knew they’d hear him out if he asked for their time, but their situations were only _similar_ , not quite the same. There was still a barrier between them that blocked off any understanding he truly wanted.

Cloud was getting into his own head, losing himself. The girls must have sensed it too because they would try to comfort him in their own ways. Unfortunately, when Cloud tried to rebuff them in his typical fashion, his words were harsh and icy. His tone cracked like a whip, too sharp and too sudden. He felt guilty afterwards, but some part of him couldn’t speak up to apologise. Was it pride? Embarrassment? He didn’t give himself a chance to think it over. He gave himself time and space by riding off into the open plains to clear his head.

 _The siren call of freedom sung his name, tempting him to escape to run and run and run from his fate_.

Every time Cloud returned, he felt worse and drawn in on himself. He stayed this way, stuck in a defeated cycle, for hours. A moody shadow hovered over him for nearly the whole damn day. That was until he was abruptly taken out of his fatalistic reverie.

“I’m getting real sick of your attitude, Spiky.”

It was the only warning Cloud had. He turned his head just in time to see Barret reach out and grab him by the front of his sweater. With a breathtaking display of strength, Barret hauled Cloud up to his feet and spun the blond around, shoving him away from his stolen motorcycle.

“Go on. _Move_.” Barret shoved Cloud forward, away from the others.

Cloud stumbled only for a second before catching himself. He started to turn back, only to be shoved further away. Cloud snapped a hand out to smack away Barret’s. This treatment raised his hackles, but somewhere deep inside, there was some measure of relief. While he appreciated the turn of kindness he had been dealt recently, it was nice to have someone who was willing to cut him down to size, who was willing to reflect his attitude right back at him.

“What the hell was that for?” he snapped.

Barret cocked his head to one side and raised his brows. Even with his shades on, Cloud could imagine the incredulous look in his eyes. “You got a lot of nerve asking me that. Whole _bunch_ of nerve.” Cloud tensed his jaw, eyes squinting defiantly, as Barret continued, “The hell is your problem today? I know you think you got this big, bad, loner image to uphold, but we saw through that a long time ago.”

Cloud dismissed the other man with sharp flicks of his hand, turning his head away as he said, “Don’t worry about it.”

Wrong thing to say. Barret stepped closer and shoved Cloud back again, getting that extra inch out of him to separate him from the others. Cloud bared his teeth like a trapped down, but Barret wasn’t backing down. To his credit, he brought his hand to his waist. His posture dared Cloud to do something about it. They stood there in a stare down until Cloud hesitantly began to relax. He curled his fists at his side, open and closed, unsure of what to do with himself.

“What’s your problem?” Barret repeated, voice low in his chest. His tone had calmed monumentally, but even Cloud could hear the danger there. He’d need to tread carefully. “And don’t feed me anymore bullshit.”

“Just.” Cloud started and stopped almost immediately. He was full of nervous energy now. His hands smoothed over his thighs and then caught in his pockets. When that outlet didn’t feel right, he hugged himself protectively and looked away, sights cast to the ground. “This was a mistake,” he admitted, finding that that was the best net to catch his thoughts. “I can handle things from here. You should all head home.”

Barret scoffed, posture righting and going perfectly straight. “That right? Well, you just point the right way home, and we’ll just mosey on out.” Sarcasm was dripping from his voice, and Cloud glared up at the taller man. There was malice in those beautiful eyes, but Barret continued anyway. “That’s what you want me to say, huh? Mr. SOLDIER Boy wants to run off and finally be the hero even after all the shit we been through?” He gestured his hand to Cloud. “You think it’ll be over just like that? We’re all in this now. We all got somethin’ at stake! You think Aerith can go back to her mother after the bullshit we pulled? And what about Red? Huh? Where you think he’s supposed to run off to? Right back into the lovin’ arms of those Shinra jerks?”

“ _Ex-_ SOLDIER,” Cloud replied, the response immediate and familiar. Other than that, he couldn’t say anything in his own defense.

What _was_ he expecting? Maybe Tifa, if any of them, could have blended back in and continued her life. But it was only a matter of time before someone found her out and dragged her into the spotlight. Barret watched Cloud’s eyes set back to the floor. Whether it was out of shame or stubbornness, he wasn’t able to tell.

“Yeah? Well, you may be an ‘ _ex-_ ’lapdog, but you still have all the bad training.” Barret looked him up and down and frowned.

“If you don’t like it, then fuck off.”

Wrong, wrong, _wrong_ answer. Barret closed the space until he loomed over Cloud, and the blond wasn’t easy to intimidate on his best days. But he wasn’t on his A-game. He was cowed by his own stupidity; the small nuggets of guilt were heavy stones in his stomach. Barret’s eyes being covered protected him from the worse of the scowl, but the tension that charged the air around them had Cloud ready to fight.

He expected a dressing down, a verbal lashing that would have kept him silent for months. Instead, the silence continued. In spite of how cold Cloud was being, Barret seemed impervious to the chill. Barret sized Cloud up again with a long up and down look. Cloud felt bared underneath the covered gaze. He dug his gloved fingers into his forearm, trying as he might to protect himself from the growing discomfort.

This was worse than the yelling. That he could take.

“You know what your problem is?” came Barret’s voice finally, and Cloud was almost thankful for it. He hitched up his brows to prompt Barret to continued. He did, but he spoke as if he would have kept going even if Cloud hadn’t reacted in any way. “You don’t know how to let people do things for you.”

“And what should I expect you to do?” Cloud drawled bleakly. His eyes went half-mast, disinterested and unimpressed. “Should I expect you to die for me?”

Barret’s tone lowered, hitting the same freezing temperature Cloud’s mood was at. “You know Tifa would take a bullet for you. No questions asked.” It shut Cloud up, even internally. “And Aerith is as sweet as can be, putting up with your fool ass.” He pointed to Cloud now. “You need to learn how to let people care about you because some of us have just enough bad sense to like your prickly self.”

“‘Us,’” Cloud repeated, unable to keep the venom out. “Even you?”

“You think I’m out here bickerin’ with you for my _health_!?” Barret’s voice rose out of irritation. The sudden shift in tone made Cloud catch his breath. “You think we want something out of you? You think we’re here to mock you? Build you up and then throw to whatever those fuckin’ things are? I’mma need you to listen real close because I’m not gonna say this again.”

Cloud shuddered; this was subzero intensity. This was more than he had managed all day. He was listening with undivided attention. Barret reached up to take off his shades. His gaze pierced down into Cloud’s soul.

“You got people here who are looking out for you, and we want to protect you just as much we’re tryin’ to protect everybody and everything else. The girls care about you. Red cares about you. Biggs and the others — even Marlene cares about your scrawny ass. And if you wanna backtalk my sweet little angel Marlene, you and me’re gonna have a real problem, we clear?”

The nod came before Cloud thought to make it. It was sharp, concise. It was all he needed. “Crystal.”

“Good.” Barret set his shades back on and moved two steps away. He took the chill with him, and Cloud let go of himself. There was a pain in his arm where his fingers had been. “Now wipe that ugly look off your face. We’re headed to the next town, and you better not run off anywhere. We ain’t got time to chase you around. You hear me?”

Cloud nodded again, properly disciplined, he felt. It was enough. He didn’t need to cause more problems today. Barret nodded in response before heading back to the others. Everyone was looking their way but had the kind sense to keep their commentary to themselves. Tifa and the others loaded up on the truck. Cloud hoisted himself onto the Shinra motorcycle and followed their lead to the next town.

The drive was brutal, but there wasn’t a single thought that went through Cloud’s head.

_“If you wanna backtalk my sweet little angel Marlene, you and me’re gonna have a real problem, we clear?”_

_“Crystal.”_

Well, except one…

By the time they made it into town, they had to pull their resources together. Everything seemed fine for now. No cloaked figures and no ominous visions of Sephiroth. They had just enough money for a local meal at a mom and pop shop. It was enough to rest for a while as they hammered out their game plan. Cloud spoke listlessly about the towns he knew that were in this general direction. Granted, he hadn’t visited some of them, but he knew the landmarks. Aerith and Red XIII went off to find a map seller of any kind. When they came back, they said they found a library and also an Inn that could house them for the night.

The group went to get their rooms, having enough money to go around that they didn’t need to double up on rooms just yet. Afterward, they split up to learn more about their surroundings and to find some side work in the meanwhile. Red XIII went with Cloud, who stayed frigid for most of their walk. It was only after finding a bounty board did Cloud finally speak.

“...I’m. Sorry, Red,” he said haltingly. He kept his gaze focused on the pockmarked cork board. “For how I was earlier.”

Red XIII looked up at him and then moved closer, sitting resolutely at Cloud’s side and leaning his weight against the blond. “I can understand,” he said as diplomatic as always. “But let’s not have it get the best of us.”

“Yeah.”

That was as much forgiveness as he was going to get on this end, but he decided to take it. Thankfully, he was able to find a few jobs he could run on his own or with a small bit of help from his animal companion. It racked them up enough money to be comfortable on while they were here, thankfully. If they stayed in tomorrow, he could continue the job and get more as well.

For now, they headed back to the Inn. Red XIII went into one of the rooms they had rented and made himself scarce through a window. Aerith wished for him to be careful, and that left Cloud in the hall on his own. He fidgeted again, unable to coax himself into moving from that spot for a while. It was only when he heard his name — or he thought he heard his name — that he moved himself into action. He motioned for Aerith to follow him into Tifa’s room. After that, he gestured for the florist to have a seat on Tifa’s bed. Tifa, feeling that something was about to happen, took a seat beside Aerith as well.

Cloud posted himself against the wall, finding himself unable to look at the two directly for a time. The sting of his shame had cooled by now, but he was only now feeling the full weight of his foolishness. He also knew that it was pointless to continue this way for much longer. With a full body sigh, he faced the girls and apologised to them.

“I’m sorry,” he said calmly. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“It’s not like you,” Tifa responded after a stretch of silence. “Not like that. I know you can be a bit moody, but…” She uncurled a hand in the air and turned it out towards her side. “That was mean.”

It was simple: it was cold and mean. He nodded in agreement.

“Promise you won’t do it again?” Aerith chimed in.

Cloud froze and nodded. He needed to be mature about this if they were going to go the long haul. The girls separated. Aerith patted the space between them. Another pause from Cloud, his muscles tensing. They were looking at him sternly, watching his movements, but this was an olive branch. He decided to take it.

“What happened?” This from Tifa.

And he wasn’t sure how to explain, so he said that he was thinking about Sephiroth, the blazing vision they had shared and the battle. He didn’t talk about anything before that; he didn’t get into anything deeper. And from the way he clammed up when pressed, both women knew that he had more to say. But they let it go for now. If there was anything else, they’d ask about it in time.

“What you did wasn’t okay,” Aerith said at the end of it all. Cloud squeezed his hands together. Taking mercy on him, she reached out to cover them with one of her own. “But I forgive you. We’ll work this out together, alright?”

Tifa moved a hand to Cloud’s arm, her other setting atop Aerith’s. “You’re not alone,” she added. “And we won’t keep going letting you think that way.” She leaned into his line of sight. “You know that, don’t you?”

He knew, but he couldn’t quite believe it. There was a weight on his shoulders, an impossibly heavy burden, that he didn’t even understand the full brunt of. But still, he nodded to keep the peace. The pair squeezed closer to him and drew him into an embrace. Such simple kindness alone was enough to disarm him.

“I forgive you too,” Tifa whispered before pressing a kiss to his temple. “I can’t lose you like that again.”

Cloud swallowed something down. However he responded was enough for them to release him. He stood from the bed and walked without focus. His entire world felt tilted on its axis. Something had been knocked loose, a gate inside of him bumped slightly open. Barret’s words were cycling in his mind again.

 _“You got people here who are looking out for you.”_ Over and over again.

He managed to shamble into the hall before Barret called out for him. Cloud blinked himself back into some state of wakefulness before he walked into the other man’s room.

“Close the door,” Barret said before Cloud could get too far. He was tightening a bolt on his gun arm, his focus intense, but Cloud knew he was on watch.

The blond twisted a bit to close the door behind him. He thumbed the lock thoughtlessly but didn’t press down on it. He turned himself towards Barret again. Like this, he felt as if he was at the other man’s mercy for criticism or worse. He was standing there like a lame duck. But he couldn’t take another round of whatever _that_ had been. No, no more of that.

“I heard what you said,” Barret stated. “Kinda hard not to in a small place like this.”

He brought the screwdriver up and held it in his teeth. Afterward, he guided the gun arm down to the floor at his bedside, mounting platform up. He dropped the screwdriver into his awaiting hand before reaching out to set it on the windowsill. Probably where he found it before. And then, he looked to Cloud. Those deep brown eyes weren’t hidden now. The sunglasses were hooked on the front of Barret’s shirt. His lips were set in a line as he thought about what to do with the man in front of him. He tipped his head towards the bed.

“C’mere.”

And Cloud went. He sat down heavily, feeling more like himself with every second that passed. He wasn’t aware of any internal openings, any emotional gaps the gentleness from before had left. Right now, he only hunched over and set his elbows on his thighs. After a long silence, Barret reached over with his left hand and clapped it against Cloud’s back.

“Bet you feel like an ass right about now, huh?”

Cloud rolled his eyes before looking at the other man. “No need to rub it in.”

“Aight, but that’s the only favour I’m doing for you today.”

Fair. Cloud hadn’t exactly won any fans this time around. He sighed through his nose and ducked his head. He expected something about his kicked puppy look, but to his surprise, nothing came. Instead, Barret asked,

“Is that really all that’s going on? You worried about the fight ahead and the things we saw at Shinra?”

 _No_. Cloud chewed the inside of his lip. He wasn’t sure how to say this or even if he wanted to. He moved his hands closer so he could twiddle his thumbs around each other. For all that Barret appeared to be a hothead, he was thankfully patient. His hand was a spot of warmth on Cloud’s back, and it served as a grounding point.

“Sephiroth is dangerous, more dangerous than you can know,” he started, voice dry. He felt like he had been rehearsing this for his entire life, even though it had only become a point of interest lately. “Whatever’s happening, whatever Shinra had planned with him — it’s all about to backfire. Real bad.”

“Nothin’ good ever comes out of them, does it?” Barret moved his hand to scratch at his head. Cloud couldn’t imagine how cold he felt without it. The hand went back down, but it was set just a ways behind Cloud.

“It’s… I don’t even understand the whole of it…”

Silence. Barret stared at Cloud as if he was seeing him for the first time. Really seeing him. His voice came out softer, more understanding. “And that scares you.”

Today really wasn’t his day. Cloud would have never agreed to something like that so readily, but it was only now that he realised that he was feeling… _vulnerable_. He squeezed his hands tight enough that the leather of his gloves protested.

“Yeah.” He was really scared.

If only because he felt there was a key to all of this he couldn’t remembered. And there was that thing that Hojo said. He was a failure. Supposedly, but after they had passed all the tests, he had seemingly gone up in rank. A frown twisted his lips, and Cloud leaned forward more. He pulled his hands apart only to dig his fingers into his hair. His right foot jackhammered against the floorboards as a pain shot through his head.

Memory… his memory… What was he _supposed_ to be remembering?

“Hey… Cloud.” The warmth was back, sliding over his shoulder and holding firm to bring him back. Barret tugged at him, surprisingly gentle, as he ducked himself forward to catch Cloud’s eye. “C’mon, man. Talk to me.”

And what was he going to say? His fingers tightened more in his hair, but when Barret’s hand met him with an equal force, Cloud sank his mind into it. He allowed that to be what brought him back. It was like resurfacing and finally taking a fresh breath of air. He let one hand fall away. Barret’s grip on him lessened but didn’t disappear.

“It’s… just a headache.” He shook his head before dropping his other hand as well. He uncurled from himself, grimacing when he heard his spine pop. “Too much shit’s happened.”

“I hear you on that one. But look at me real quick.”

Cloud’s brows ticked closer, but he did as was asked of him. Barret met his eyes and scanned his face. Whatever he found didn’t seem to convince him much of Cloud’s well-being.

“You look like you need a rest,” was all he said. No needling, no jokes. Just some sound Wallace Wisdom.

Cloud snorted at himself when the thought crossed his mind. A ghost’s smile touched his lips as he met Barret’s eyes once again. “That’s putting it lightly.”

“Yeah, well. I didn’t wanna say anything with you looking all sad and shit.”

An eye roll. Cloud was starting to feel better already, but when he tried to stand, Barret’s hand only anchored him down. Cloud blinked over at him in confusion.

“There’s a bed right here,” Barret answered to the look.

“... Yeah, but there’s also a _you_ in it.”

Barret sucked his teeth, and Cloud felt the grip again. This time, he figured, it would be to manhandle him. “If you got time to be a smart ass, you got time to lie down.”

And that was about as much fight as Cloud was going to put up for today. That deeper weakness had wedged itself further into him, and he felt like he was running on empty now. Too many emotional hoops had been jumped today. He slid up on the bed, and Barret made room for him. Clearly, that wasn’t the end of all his surprises because Barret actually pulled Cloud closer against his body.

Cloud felt his heart leap when that large hand slid and found its home on his waist. The warmth from Barret’s body was almost unreal, but it was homey in a way. The solidness of his body was real and comforting. For as much as a hard ass as he could be when the time came, he really was a protector, wasn’t he? He was built like one, fought like one. And even though he said he was done doing Cloud favours, he was doing the biggest one of them all right now.

Pink dusted over Cloud’s pale features as he sunk into himself a bit. Was it alright for him to be enjoying this? Barret had only offered his space, and he surely would have done the same for the others. But… even still…. even if this was only a kindness granted for today, he supposed he might as well enjoy it. He set a hand on the muscle of Barret’s stomach and let his eyes close. He sighed with his body. They weren’t running, not yet, so he might as well get his energy back while he had the chance.

“I see you’re already learning.”

“Hm?” Cloud’s brow went up in question. His eyes opened slowly, and then he leaned his head back to look up at Barret, who smiled down at him.

“Letting people do things for you. Hear you out, forgive, offer up some space — that’s allll part of the package.”

This was nothing like how it was at Shinra, like how it had been as he traipsed the world to make his fare. Cloud bit the inside of his bottom lip, eyes lowering a bit as he mulled it over.

“And it’s not too much, is it? To… give these things?”

“If it were, probably wouldn’t offer it in the first place. Then again.” Barret leaned back against the headboard, his focus setting forward and landing somewhere far away. The smile on his face was so handsome, so _serene_ , that Cloud felt a small pang of jealousy go through him. “Sometimes even a little bit of sacrifice pays off in the end.” He tapped a thumb against Cloud’s hip. “And that’s just the kinda bet you need to be willing to put everything on.”

Cloud watched at him, unaware of how quiet things had gotten until he spoke again. “Can’t say I know much about that.”

“Well, you’ve got time to learn.” Barret looked down at him, sharing the peace in his eyes. “If you’re willing that is.”

Was there… was there more to that? To _this_? He felt as if he had walked into something, but he didn’t even notice there was a door. And with one inside of hih still open even just this scant amount made him feel more than he ordinarily would have stood for. He wet his lips and felt himself nodding.

“‘m ready. At least to _try_.”

Barret’s smile was smooth and easy. “Ah, what’re you scared? It won’t be all that bad.”

Cloud snapped to and frowned up at him. “ _No_.” It was indignant and quick, which seemed to be what Barret wanted.

“That’s right. Big bad merc ain’t scared of nothin’.” The space between them was growing smaller and smaller. Cloud felt his breath hitch in his throat. “Not even a guy like me.”

A scoff, distracted. Half-hearted. “You’re not so tough,” Cloud muttered.

A laugh, soft but so full of life. “Yeah? Smart ass.”

It was the first time Cloud had kissed anyone in a _while_. The scruff of Barret’s beard only served to remind him that this was real. His first curled in Barret’s shirt, and that only seemed to encourage the larger man more. Cloud sighed into the kiss when his lips were pried open with a clever tongue. He was so inexperienced, so out of his depth, but he wasn’t doing this alone. He… slowly, _slowly_ yielded under Barret’s attention. Heat was consuming him from the inside out. The kiss broke with perfect timing, allowing him to shudder whenever he took a breath of air, but when things continued, it never felt like enough.

Their hands never wandered. Cloud didn’t feel confident enough to roam, but Barret’s hand stayed settled right where it was. Warm, almost burning, in its place on Cloud’s side. Just this much was enough to get Cloud worked up. Sheesh, was he really that easy?

The kiss broke; Barret chased, and it continued for a second more. When Cloud pulled back again, Barret held his place like the steady oak he was. He did squeeze Cloud’s side as more of reassurance. Cloud nodded his head to a question never spoke, and then he buried his face against Barret’s shoulder to hide how embarrassed he was.

Barret chuckled softly before patting Cloud’s body. “You’re a damn mess,” he said, but there wasn’t any malice. Only teasing that Cloud was starting to believe he had escaped. Heh, his guard really _was_ down, huh. “But ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

For now, Cloud let himself believe that if only because he had been in his head all day and nothing good came out of that. Still, when Barret squeezed him close and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, he felt the sincerity of Barret’s words sink in from his roots to his soles.

“Get some rest, merc. After that, we’ll try and plan our next steps out.”

It sounded good to him to just turn off and not think for a while. And even though he didn’t sleep, it was fine enough to just relax — for once — while someone else did the looking out. And he was fool enough to think that maybe one day things could always be like this. Maybe it was a foolish dream that could get him killed, but he pretended just for now.

He had let people in more than he had before, but this was a secret that he would keep for himself.


End file.
